In the continuing saga of Becca breaking every freaking thing she owns . . . DH was unloading the dishwasher and called me in to see something.  My measuring spoons had slipped out of place and melted against the bottom heating element of the dishwasher.  I hope they didn’t break the dishwasher as well, but at the very least, my measuring spoons are broken and need replacing.  (This makes item #47 in the last 20 days for those of you playing the at home game.)

Obviously, I was displeased.

I cried out “shit!” as I pulled the mishappen plastic out of the dishwasher.  To which Miriam responded likewise at the top of her lungs.

DH then started laughing hysterically at the 2 year old shouting “shit”, which only encouraged her more.

head*keyboard

So now my 2 year old is wandering around shouting “shit”, my 20 month old is crying, my spoons are melted, and my husband is laughing while washing dishes.

At least something good came out of this, right?

If you’ve ever wanted to see what a true mess looks like, follow these instructions:

1. Set up your 20 month old at the little table with a spoon, paper towel, and a small bowl of chocolate pudding

2. Dash off to deal with sick, crying, nearly 3 year old

3. Return 30 seconds later to see son, table, and most of the kitchen floor covered in chocolate pudding

4. Freeze in shock, allowing said 20 month old a chance to dash off into the living room and climb up onto the cream colored sofa

Yeah.  Not fun.  I wish I had gotten pictures, but I was so shocked I just cleaned it up first.  I’m sure your imagination can fill in the rest though.

I love cooking.  I love setting an attractive table, and feeding people.  I love having people over to the house, putting out snacks, fixing drinks, and entertaining.  I love holidays once they actually are here and everyone is together and enjoying the holiday.

I love grocery shopping.  I love buying new dishes and serving pieces.  Particularly this adorable soup tureen and bowl set I treated myself to for the holidays this year.

What I do not love is cleaning.  In any form.  I’m trying to do the Fly Lady thing, but instead of flying, I find I’m barely fluttering.  I have toddlers who hide apples in the sofa cushions.  I have a husband who says the dishes are done and what he means is that he loaded and ran the dishwasher, but anything that didn’t fit was left on the stove and in the sink.

But really, it’s my fault.  Not theirs.  I should be the one following my routines and getting my house clean so that I don’t have to do a pre-Shabbat freak out every week to get things presentable.

Instead, I’m blogging.

Did I mention I really hate cleaning?

I need a domestic.  Oh well.  Until I can hire one (probably half past never) I need to get up off my tush and get to work.

All I wanted to do was add some storage space to our master bathroom.  I use the term “room” loosely as really, it’s a closet with a toilet, sink, and tub jammed in there with a shoehorn.  It is seriously the smallest full bath I’ve ever seen.  You have to leave the room to change your mind.

So, back in May, as a birthday present to myself, I bought one of those shelving units that go over the commode.  Yesterday, I gave up on having my husband assemble it and just did it.  (with a lot of help from my mom!).  I went to put it in place, and had to take down the towel rack.

Okay, not a big deal.  I had Jason remove the towel bar, and low and behold, behind the brackets are four huge ridiculous holes in the wall!

Now we have to fill those in with putty, sand the putty down, and repaint the frigging bathroom!  Of course, repainting the bathroom my DH tells me will require removing said commode.

I don’t want to do a major remodel.  I just want some shelves!!!!

The windows of my house are completely fogged up because of the heat and humidity outside.  My kids got into my spice drawer today and managed to open and dump 3 spice jars all over my floor.  My 2 year old decided to try her hand at disassembling furniture today and took a shelf out of the television stand.  The same one she hid the remote under the other day and we couldn’t find it for ages.  My 1 year old is sick, and refused to nap at all.  My husband is still working at 7:30 at night.  He started before 6 a.m. this morning.  My basement is flooded and the carpet goes “squish” whenever I take a step.  The same 2 year old discussed above is refusing to sleep in her own bed, but is (Thank G-d) willing to sleep in the guest bed.  The sheets for the guest bed are in the washer right now, but she doesn’t seem to mind sleeping on a mattress pad, so okay.  The light in my kitchen burned out.

But, I have a lovely glass of Riesling, and am hereby telling the world it can go take care of its own self.  Mama is done for the day.

Hey, when the kool-aid is this inspiring, I’ll drink right up!

1. I’m grateful for my husband. He works crazy hours, but is still willing to get up with the kids in the morning so I have a chance to catch a few more zzzz’s.

2. I’m grateful for my adorable children. Their minds work in incredible ways and I’m always surprised by what they come up with.

3. I’m grateful for my friends, without whom I totally would be in a loony bin

4. I’m grateful for my mom, who knows when to help make grandiose plans, and when to reign me back in before I go off the deep end and buy 47 yards of fabric or a dog.

5. I’m grateful that we have a roof over our heads, and food in the fridge. All my worries are pretty much silliness because we have the things we need.

I’m actually grateful for more than just this, but the kool-aid is to list 5, so 5 it is!

Asher is trying so hard to walk, but he’s not quite there yet. Which explains one of the reasons he really loves it when my dad comes over.

Watching the little dude steal my dad’s walker, thereby trapping my dad on the sofa makes me laugh, every single time.

I was really looking forward to going to Stitch n Bitch tonight, but I don’t think I’ll be going anywhere.

Anybody have an ark?

Dear Flylady,

I’ve never written before, and honestly never thought that I would. Today though, I have to let you know how wonderful you have been for our lives!

I’ve been flying for about 3 years now, with many crashes, but luckily no burns. We have a 2 year old, and a 10 month old.

A few months ago, my father started having difficulty walking, and in the last month it really came to a head. He was falling and could no longer be alone. So, he started coming over here first thing in the morning when my mom went to work, and staying with us all day.

Then a week ago, he could no longer walk at all. Because of house layouts, it was decided he would simply stay with us, as he wouldn’t have to battle stairs.

Obviously, things here have been a little crazed what with a toddler, a baby, and now a non-mobile adult. So yesterday he went in for surgery and today, my in-laws are coming into town to help out.

Well, my goal has always been 10 minutes from company ready, just like you say. And, after the complete insanity of the last few weeks, today we were not only 10 minutes from company ready, but only 1 hour from Mother-in-Law ready! And that includes time to wash the guest room sheets, and remake the bed since my dad left yesterday!

Thank you Flylady!

I’m beginning to think that I should just not make a plan for Saturday night. Somehow, it always seems to get thrown by the wayside. Last night, instead of having the planned tacos, we picked up fried chicken and took it over to my folks house. So, tacos need to get moved to a night this week.

Also complicating this weeks plans, Friday is my mom’s birthday, Shabbat, and my father is having major back surgery that day. How do I make a Shabbat meal, that is birthday celebratory too, and that can be eaten at whatever time my mom and I get back to the house from the hospital? Do I ask my husband – who will be home with the kids that day so I can be at the hospital, to make Challah and the rest of dinner? Ack!

Oh, and my inlaws are coming in this weekend too. I love them and they are coming to help, but it makes meal planning even more “interesting”.

I guess the jist of all this prefacing this week is that the plan for this week will probably get thrown out completely due to all the complications, but here goes anyway.

Sunday: Pizza (probably will just pick one up at Costco today)

Monday: Tacos, beans, and rice

Tuesday: Dinner with my folks, which will probably actually be here, but I don’t know what yet.

Wednesday: Baked halibut, rice, veggies

Thursday: Split pea soup (week 3 split pea soup night wound up being 11 bean soup instead), homemade bread

Friday: Challah, salad, and lasagna

Saturday: Gumbo