Two year old (will be three next month) is missing out on her preschool’s Thanksgiving event today.  She is instead sitting next to me on the sofa, still in her pajamas, watching Yo Gabba Gabba and sipping on a cup of lukewarm super sweet tea.  She keeps saying “me no feel so well Mommy”.  I ask her what doesn’t feel good, and she says “Evebyting”  Poor dear.  Her brother on the other hand feels fine and is running around like a crazy child.

When Mim does feel well enough to play, she’s building “castles” or setting up train tracks all over the living room. And as soon as she steps away to lay down and rest some more, her brother comes through like King Kong and destroys everything, which sets Mim off crying.

Oh, and did I mention it is thunderstorming, so I can’t even let the boy burn off some energy outside?

Luckily, the kids aren’t afraid of thunder, just of imaginary kitty cats, so we’ve got that small blessing.  I just hope we all get over these colds soon.  Thanksgiving is no fun in a sick house!

In the continuing saga of Becca breaking every freaking thing she owns . . . DH was unloading the dishwasher and called me in to see something.  My measuring spoons had slipped out of place and melted against the bottom heating element of the dishwasher.  I hope they didn’t break the dishwasher as well, but at the very least, my measuring spoons are broken and need replacing.  (This makes item #47 in the last 20 days for those of you playing the at home game.)

Obviously, I was displeased.

I cried out “shit!” as I pulled the mishappen plastic out of the dishwasher.  To which Miriam responded likewise at the top of her lungs.

DH then started laughing hysterically at the 2 year old shouting “shit”, which only encouraged her more.

head*keyboard

So now my 2 year old is wandering around shouting “shit”, my 20 month old is crying, my spoons are melted, and my husband is laughing while washing dishes.

At least something good came out of this, right?

If you’ve ever wanted to see what a true mess looks like, follow these instructions:

1. Set up your 20 month old at the little table with a spoon, paper towel, and a small bowl of chocolate pudding

2. Dash off to deal with sick, crying, nearly 3 year old

3. Return 30 seconds later to see son, table, and most of the kitchen floor covered in chocolate pudding

4. Freeze in shock, allowing said 20 month old a chance to dash off into the living room and climb up onto the cream colored sofa

Yeah.  Not fun.  I wish I had gotten pictures, but I was so shocked I just cleaned it up first.  I’m sure your imagination can fill in the rest though.

Late last night, my 20 month old decided to grab hold of the top of my laptop and pull backwards, hard.  Luckily, he wasn’t hurt.  Unfortunately, he did manage to crack the screen on my computer, rendering it a useless brick.  An expensive useless brick that is.

A few years back, my husband bought himself a toy.  An Acer netbook.  It’s the teeniest tiniest computer I’ve ever seen, but for now, it’s all I’ve got.

He’s got $5,000 worth of computers and parts all over the basement.  I’ve got a $200 Lilliputian laptop, running linux I might add.  Obviously, I have no familiarity with linux.  He tells me it is in fact running Ubuntu, but really, to me it’s all “huh?”

I managed to get access to my blog though, without any tears!  Hooray!

So, here I am pecking away at a minuscule keyboard, trying not to be resentful that when his computer has the teeniest issue, he runs straight to Tiger Direct or Dell and gets whatever it needs, no questions asked, and when my computer is killed violently, I hear “maybe before the end of the year”.

At any rate, here I am, with 75% of the functionality I really need.  So, I’ll muddle though, and the blog is still functional.

Counting my blessings.

So, any advice on how to make this Ubuntu netbook fun?  Please?

So far today I have

• Gotten two kids up, fed, dressed, and one dropped off at preschool
• Taken the other and gone to the store and procured coffee for the house
• Come home
• Paid bills
• Scheduled a doctor’s appointment for my husband
• Gone back to preschool to pick up older child
• Dropped off the car  for an oil change and walked with two toddlers home from the auto shop
• Carried one screaming, fighting toddler through every intersection because he refused to hold my hand
• Carried the other toddler between every intersection because she was tired
• Put both children down for naps

That does not include changing diapers, wiping tushies, wiping noses, or any of the picking up around the house I have done because all of that goes without saying.

ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

And why, I ask you why, is there grated coconut all over my floor?

Both of my kids have bad colds.  They started Erev Yom Kippur, and sniffled through services all Yom Kippur morning.  They were so miserable that we didn’t go back for Nilah.  I just couldn’t bear to bring them out again, into the rain, to make them try to sit still.  Instead they slept right through services, and are much better for it.  My mom stayed back from services with me and we visited and talked.  It was very nice.

But now everyone is back to their normal routines, except for my poor little monkeys.  Miriam couldn’t go to preschool today because of her cold, so we’re having a PBS Kids day, with unlimited juice boxes.  At the moment, Mim is playing with the telephone and Asher is taking all of their plates out of their drawer and piling them up on the floor of my kitchen, then putting them back into the drawer.  I see an extra load of dishes in my future.

I hope your family is doing better than mine today.  Toddlers with colds are just miserable.

I love cooking.  I love setting an attractive table, and feeding people.  I love having people over to the house, putting out snacks, fixing drinks, and entertaining.  I love holidays once they actually are here and everyone is together and enjoying the holiday.

I love grocery shopping.  I love buying new dishes and serving pieces.  Particularly this adorable soup tureen and bowl set I treated myself to for the holidays this year.

What I do not love is cleaning.  In any form.  I’m trying to do the Fly Lady thing, but instead of flying, I find I’m barely fluttering.  I have toddlers who hide apples in the sofa cushions.  I have a husband who says the dishes are done and what he means is that he loaded and ran the dishwasher, but anything that didn’t fit was left on the stove and in the sink.

But really, it’s my fault.  Not theirs.  I should be the one following my routines and getting my house clean so that I don’t have to do a pre-Shabbat freak out every week to get things presentable.

Instead, I’m blogging.

Did I mention I really hate cleaning?

I need a domestic.  Oh well.  Until I can hire one (probably half past never) I need to get up off my tush and get to work.

Little Man in the lobby

Today was Rosh Hashanah.  Actually, it started last night, but that’s beside the point.  My family attends (and helps organize) a very small, fairly organized free community service for the High Holidays.  The service has been going on for something like 35 years, and it is free to everyone, we just ask for a small donation. Anyway, the same cantor has led services for the last 24 years, and the same man has read Torah for the last 17.  They couldn’t do it anymore.

So this year, we hired a new cantor, and yours truly read Torah.  I was so nervous that even though I knew the portion perfectly, I tripped over my tongue something awful once up there on the bima reading.  I managed to pull it together, and made it through the portion, but my stress level was through the roof.

At that point, my toddlers were done with services.  We lasted long enough to hear my sister blow shofar (the first portion), and then my kids and I high tailed it home.

It’s a good thing too as I barely managed to get the sleeping 1 year old into his crib before my migraine hit full force and I ran to the washroom and lost my breakfast.

Princess in the lobby

I managed to take a pill and curl up with my 2 year old on the sofa, where my family found me when they all arrived for Rosh Hashanah dinner (served around 2 pm).

My mom and sister saw the situation, and stepped in to save the day.  All the food was already cooked, but the table wasn’t set, nothing was heated up, or even organized.  They did it all.  My sister’s soup and rice pilaf were excellent.  Mom’s salad was delicious.  My chickens reheated just fine, and everything came together like clockwork while I lay practically comatose.

I pulled myself together enough to eat, and then they all sent me to bed.

They cleared the table, entertained my children, and just made everything so easy for me!

I can’t thank them enough.

My new year got off to a rocky start, but with family like this, I know that whatever life throws our way, we’ll be okay.

L’Shana Tova Tikatevu to you and yours.  I hope that the new year brings you blessings, peace, and happiness.

The windows of my house are completely fogged up because of the heat and humidity outside.  My kids got into my spice drawer today and managed to open and dump 3 spice jars all over my floor.  My 2 year old decided to try her hand at disassembling furniture today and took a shelf out of the television stand.  The same one she hid the remote under the other day and we couldn’t find it for ages.  My 1 year old is sick, and refused to nap at all.  My husband is still working at 7:30 at night.  He started before 6 a.m. this morning.  My basement is flooded and the carpet goes “squish” whenever I take a step.  The same 2 year old discussed above is refusing to sleep in her own bed, but is (Thank G-d) willing to sleep in the guest bed.  The sheets for the guest bed are in the washer right now, but she doesn’t seem to mind sleeping on a mattress pad, so okay.  The light in my kitchen burned out.

But, I have a lovely glass of Riesling, and am hereby telling the world it can go take care of its own self.  Mama is done for the day.

It’s hot outside.  Too hot.  It’s 93F with 90% humidity.  It feels like a sauna out there, and I just can’t deal.  Normally after lunch we are outside for playtime in the backyard.  I take a book to read, and the kids play in the sandbox, run around looking at bugs, and just burn off some energy.

Today, I can’t do it.

So, we are inside, and Miriam is engrossed with the television.  She’s watching Julia Child make French Bread, and I’m okay with that.  Asher is sitting next to me while I type, enjoying his graham cracker.

Sometimes a quiet, inside day is just what the momma needs.